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The one sentence persuasion course teaches us that people will do anything for those who: encourage their dreams, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, throw rocks at their enemies and justify their failures.
Today we’re going to discuss the first 2, encouraging dreams and allaying fears. Manipulative brilliance lies ahead. Just do the work of reading it.
Table of Contents
Encourage Their Dreams (And Make Successful Outcomes Feel Inevitable)
People are driven by hopes, aspirations and dreams. And everyday there is a constant barrage of self-doubt and external discouragement that hammers at our hopes and desires for the future. When you validate someone’s dreams you are helping them validate some of their deepest self-identities. Not only that but you are showing them that you are on their team and want for them what they want for themselves. Being aware and validating another person’s goals instantly creates trust and loyalty. This technique works when the subject feels seen, understood and cared about. And if someone feels seen and understood they generally also feel that they are being supported.
Some Tips on How to Encourage Dreams
Don’t waste the opportunity to compliment someone by saying something bland and vacuous. Maximize the impact of your words by being specific about a trait or talent that is core to their fulfilling their goals:
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NOT “You’re talented.”
RATHER be specific “You have a natural ability to grasp and explain complex things. That’s what separates great teachers from average ones.” -
NOT “You’re great at sales!”
RATHER make it personal, make it resonate“You instinctively know how to make people feel cared for. That’s why people trust you so quickly.” -
NOT “You’re funny!”
RATHER “Being able to make people laugh about serious topics and think about them at the same time is a rate skill. That’s why people remember what you say.”
Use future pacing about the subjects success:
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“Imagine 7 or 8 weeks for now, when you’re recognized as the go-to expert in your area. People will wonder what happened and ask for advice on how how you did it.”
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“Picture this: You walk into a room, and people already know who you are. That’s where you’re headed.”
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“At some point, you’re going to look back and realize this was the moment everything changed.”
Make their success feel inevitable, destined, or the natural order:
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“You’re not just good at this, you were made for it!”
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“You can feel it, can’t you? Like you were always meant for something bigger.”
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“Can’t wait to say, ‘I knew you before you were famous.’”
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“This is exactly how all great [writers, entrepreneurs, artists] start.”
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“This isn’t just a goal. This is who you are.”
Extra tip: When encouraging someone’s goals, dreams and desires it can be very effective to use presupposition statements, ie. speak as if the outcome or success is already unfolding. Some presupposition statements are:
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“Once your book becomes a bestseller, how will you celebrate?”
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“As you continue to grow in your field, what kind of impact do you want to have?”
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“Since your hard work is already paying off, what’s the next big step for you?”
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Allay Their Fears (By Making Fear Work For Them)
Fear is the biggest reason people hesitate, procrastinate, or give up entirely. It’s also one of the most effective motivators for action. Fear is such a powerful emotion because when it is triggered it it overrides all other emotions and best practices in the human mind. If people associate you or your product with reducing their fears you will be golden.
Allaying fears can mean providing a solution that the subject perceives as actually reducing their exposure to a danger and that is a great place to be from a persuasive standpoint. It can also means being the person or entity that helps them reframe and reconsider their fears. By changing how people interpret their fears, the most effective persuaders transform hesitation into action and are able to turning obstacles into opportunities.
We never tell people to ignore their fears, we always take them seriously. And then we help them to reduce them via reframing and redirection.
Reframing Fear as Proof of Growth
People often interpret fear as a sign they should stop. Instead, make them see it as evidence they’re on the right path.
Example Statement: “The fact that you’re nervous about this means you’re doing something meaningful. No one ever grows by staying comfortable.”
The Fear Trade-Off: Highlight the Bigger Risk of Inaction
People focus on the risk of taking action, but they often ignore the risks of staying where they are. Show them that doing nothing is actually the most dangerous choice.
Example Statement: “Yes, starting a business is risky. But staying in a job you hate for the next 20 years and never knowing what you could have done? What does that cost you? Economically and psychologically.”
Normalize and Reduce the Fear with Social Proof
When people see that others have faced the same fear and succeeded, their own fear diminishes. Use testimonials, case studies, or relatable examples.
Example Statement: “Most successful speakers were scared of public speaking at first. They did it anyway.”
Create a ‘No-Lose-You-Learn’ Scenario
Fear is strongest when people feel they have something to lose. Reduce their perceived risk by showing them how they either succeed or learn.
Example Statement: “There are only two outcomes here: You succeed, or you learn something valuable that gets you closer to success next time. Either way, you win.”
Shift the Focus from Fear to Reward
People often focus too much on what could go wrong instead of what they stand to gain. Help them zoom in on the benefits.
Example Statement: “Imagine how confident you’ll feel once you’ve done this. That sense of achievement will be worth any temporary discomfort along the way.”
Reduce the Size of the Fear with Small Steps
Fear thrives when a goal feels overwhelming. Break it down into a simple first step.
Example Statement: “You don’t need to have it all figured out today. Just take the first step. Once you do, the next one will be easier.”
Make Contrast the Fear of Inaction With the Present
If they’re already afraid, use that fear as motivation by making them feel urgency.
Example Statement: “What’s scarier: Taking this step now, or looking back a year from now, realizing you’re still where you are and everyone else has moved on?
Remember: If you are trying to close a sale or motivate a decision the key here is that you want to make inaction scarier than action.
